Vacation sucks.

I am a nerd, through and through. I own more books than I do of any other material possession, I collect comics, I want my own sonic screwdriver (a TARDIS is a bit too ambitious, don't you think), I'm doing a double major in University, and my role model growing up was Lois Lane. This may explain why for the past month I've been ready for summer to end. Yes, I did just go there. Since the first week of August I have been counting down the days until summer was over and I could get back to school and study my little heart out.

I live for the days where I'm on campus from early morning to late night, the days where I drink copious amounts of caffeine (well, more even more than my usual obscene amounts of coffee) because I spent the night before cramming for a test or finishing an essay, the days where my eyes feel like they're about to fall out if I read one more word. I love school.

And I hate vacation. Well, I hate long vacations. Well, I hate long vacations where it feels like I'm doing nothing of particular interest or importance.

Now, I don't want it to sound like since school got out in April that I've been sitting on my rear bumper doing nothing; in fact it's quite the opposite. I took a spring course through May and June and I've been working on  campus full time from May til right about now. I've been rather successful at keeping myself busy this summer. But it just didn't quench my geek thirst, despite my avid book reading and Doctor Who watching.

I belong in a classroom. This has been proven time and again in my life. I excelled in high school, not socially of course (I mean, I was the editor of the school paper; I was definitely not popular). But I was great at the real reason why teenagers are sent to high school: the "book smart" part. My teachers loved me and I loved the work they gave. I may have been the only person in class to not complain or grumble when we were given extra readings or whatnot (think Hermoine Granger, but less smug and not an awesome wizard). I even graduated a year younger than the other wizards, I mean students my age due to the fact that I started school a year sooner than I should have.

After I graduated I kind of flopped around a lot and didn't really commit to or succeed at anything. I worked at a call center, I volunteered full time and later worked at a church as a youth worker-type-person, I worked night shifts at a gas station, I moved to Ontario for 16 months, I was in two pretty serious relationships (at separate times) that I later broke off, I started Bible College through distance education, but didn't finish even one course.

When I was finally convinced to go back to school (four years after my high school graduation) one of my closest friends told me something that has really stuck with me because it's true. She said  (not necessarily word-for-word) "You kind of peaked in high school Becks. You were on your game when you were in school and kind of dropped the ball afterwards. I'm really excited that you're going back to school though! You'll flourish there. You belong in a classroom." And she was so right!

My place is in a lecture hall or a breakout room with a textbook or two in my lap and notes in front of me. I do well when my nose is buried in a book. This is why vacations tend to suck for me. I hate being away from what I love.

I understand that you need a certain amount of time away from school and that your brain would basically blow up otherwise, blah blah blah. But I really do miss school almost the exact minute it's over. I have no clue what I plan to do once I graduate and get into my chosen field of work. Mind you, I am planning on becoming a lawyer and that job entails a lot of writing, research, and reading so everything may turn out okay (it's almost like I chose that field for a reason or something ridiculous like that).

Anyway, this was a blog that I intended to go in a slightly different direction, but my thoughts got away from me (as per usual). It's also not the blog that I had promised all those months ago (but it's still something).

Moral of the blog: I'm a nerd, I enjoy school (possible far too much), and I need to learn to enjoy my time off of school.

'Til next time,

-B

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